Fw: Re: Wondering...uncle isa advice to the broken hearted: free advice is worth all of that.

my friend is breaking up with the love of his life: he says suddenly to me, he's only had sex with a half a dozen people in his life. he is congenitally monogamous. I was amazed. isa "HUSSEIN" kocher: 4 AUG, Barak Obama's birthday http://isafakir.multiply.com/ http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=715279807 --- On Wed, 8/6/08, isa@786isa.net wrote: From: isa@786isa.net Subject: Re: Wondering...uncle isa advice to the broken hearted: free advice is worth all of that. To: "J...o" <...@...mail.com> Date: Wednesday, August 6, 2008, 10:54 PM you are so sweet and innocent... :-) I really had no idea very few men (none maybe) are loyal to their partners and gay men particularly have no models of nuptial loyalty in this world and all they see and all they know is sex is like shaking hands, totally a social ritual and a sport genuine real love is rare in this world... because it takes so much effort if you really do care about another person, basically the need to fuck around is somehow over ridden by the need to be paternal and maternal and protective and loyal REAL LOVE is always loyal. That is what makes it real because it hurts. REAL LOVE is perhaps the worst curse anyone can know because it hurts and never ever stops hurting until the end of your life and beyond. AND the real mystery is that the more your loved loves you back the more terrible love is. It is a life long sentence. You cannot walk away from real love, and you cannot make them stay, and you cannot get jealous, and you cannot own them but it hurts. Genuine love is so far more mysterious and strange and sacred and numinous and out of this world. It totally transcends age sex and everything. Yet one remains oneself and one's whole critical rational logical practical self are intact and functioning inside this tornado like the eye of it. That eye sees everything you do, registers it, analyzes it and gives out its regular report card. Mother Theresa and Mandela are lovers, which is why we love them. Apparently you are a lover too. So, I really don't know what to say. I never had 9 people at the same time :-(. But I had a few here and there from time to time ;-), in all kinds of circumstances, few if ever genuine acts of love. Many of them though real acts of love essentially even anonymous acts of love. Even giving head in the front seat to a drunken football player can be an act of love (and a good meal too). I have also experienced partnership as it is called, living in one abode making hanky panky among the socks and the spaghetti and the remote control. That is nice. REally. I love socks and underwear especially when it is hanging on the line and that fresh smell of laundry when you bring it in and clean sheets and a cake baking. You cannot change anyone. You cannot demand anything of anyone. There are no guarantees. Either you love them as them, or if you cannot love them as them then you have to add up your losses, lick your wounds, learn your lessons, and carry the pain in your heart with you forever afterwards. YOU know in your heart if someone loves you, and if they do, you love them despite everything they do do and all the doodoo the do. It's a mystery. If you somehow doubt your own love, or their love, then you try to negotiate it back into some sort of comfort zone. Only you know what your conditions are and how far you want to go. If fucking around makes you feel unloved, then you know. In there inside that eye, inside all that tornado insanity, there is a cash register which counts up the costs. When the costs are greater than the income, that is called bankruptcy. Chapter 11? Chapter 7? Chapter 13? You have to let that brain do its job so the heart can hurt. That is a kind of bliss too. isa "HUSSEIN" kocher: 4 AUG, Barak Obama's birthday http://isafakir.multiply.com/ http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=715279807 ---